Saturday, September 09, 2006
i'm getting distracted. by things on this stupid computer. i do anything but work. i play MINESWEEPER. i play ICY TOWER. i go on msn. i blog hop. i look at pictures. i delete stuff that are taking too much space in the com. i BLOG. and those two documents on my taskbar only get touched when my mum comes in. gahh. i'm so irritating. i need to learn how to focus. stuff keeps going through my brainless head. i keep thinking of things. sad things, happy things. happy things are run over by the sad things? and i can't help it. a happy thing links to other things which always eventually leads to a sad thing. and ARGH. i can't stand it much. it's really GAH-ing me. happy things like WOW i got to the 3rd stage in icy tower finally, i got 100 combo, i got my high score 11000 something. but then sad things come along and i'm reminded i have lots of work to do? happy things are often stupid you realise. but stupid things make us happy many times. stupid lame jokes make us laugh. games are in a way, stupid, and they help us have fun. water, is pretty stupid, but it keeps us from falling sick and people are mostly happier when they're not sick? even stupid things like talking about how stupid things make people happy makes people happy cos it's kind of a way to vent stuff. like now. gah i have to do the physics PT by tonight. or i will seriously kill myself. the thing is the instructions are so vague. explain what a sonogram is and how the image is produced by applying understanding of waves. i can do that in what, one paragraph? sound waves come from the transducer of the ultrasound machine, and reflect off different surfaces with different intensities, and by the amount that reflects off and the time taken for the waves to be reflected, they ultrasound machine's CPU can calculate the nature of the medium the waves are passing through. points are "plotted" on a graph as to where the waves are reflected, and subsequently an image is produced and shown on the ultrasound machine's display monitor. THAT'S ALL. what else is there to say? gah. i'm pretty frustrated. more with myself than anything else. you know i used to think i was a smart girl. maybe i am, but it's not showing. smartness doesn't help much, it's true, that hardwork, perserverance and initiative are the only things that count. i can see it so extremely clearly for myself, and i still don't do anything about it. there's the lack of initiative. then when i do get on to something, i do it mindlessly for a bit. there's the lack of hardwork. then when i really do try hard, i don't try long enough. there's the lack of perserverance. thus i will not succeed in life. my whole life, everything's been prepared for me. people tell me, i do. if there wasn't anyone around right now, i would really be just a floppy lifeless puppet, no backbone, no muscles, nothing. i need a backbone, seriously. i have no self control, no discipline, no responsibility, no sense of time and urgency, no willpower, no confidence. gahh.
stepping on your garbage