Monday, October 23, 2006
so the world has been good to me. hey dude, THANKS. =)
yesterday class sleepover. mahjong! haha played that the whole day/night. i'm so tired now, i don't even know if i'm awake or if this is a dream of some sorts. dazed. hhaha..
exams are over, and i'm glad. but after exams come a bunch of things. a BIG bunch of things. i have lots of training to catch up with. but i don't have the spirit, the motivation, the energy, to do just that - train.
no i'm not old. i'm still young and alive and kicking. but sometimes i feel drained. like what's the point in my doing all this? i don't know. there's a lot of stuff out there for me to learn, to find out, but right now i feel like just stopping here and resting. just this once this time. but if i rest, i would never have a chance to catch up again. the world keeps spinning no matter how much i want it to stop and wait for me.
selfish aint it.
right at this moment, i'm tired. physically. very tired. i could just close my eyes and WHAM on the keyboard i'll go. OFF into dreamland. wahaha. but i choose to do this. and the stupid lead camp packing list isnt attached though the thing says it is. -_- tell me if i looked in the wrong place. i can't even walk right, i realised. my grandma just called me and i walked into the wall.
back to the point, right at this moment, i don't feel like doing anything but sleeping. but i have a BIG BUNCH of other things to do. like finish up this stupid blogpost, bathe, a lot of things really. i can't remember. i wish i brought my notebook around with me today.
firstly, there's that whole shit load of stuff about the lead camp. i gotta go back on friday for the stupid belaying refresher course because i couldnt go today because i had to go for farewell assembly rehearsal. stupidity. friday. i wonder that time. gahh. i forgot.
that's the only thing on my mind now though i know i was thinking of a lot more stuff i had to check up on when i came on the com. strange. ><
crap i'm screwed i'm so damn bloody tired i hope when i wake up tomorrow i'll remember everything.
OMG I REMEMBER. yahoo groups. gmail.
oh crap and school training starts on the 30th, time for me to do NOTHING there again. why do we have school training anyway. why do i bother going - i can't remember. i bet i used to know. i bet i used to know a lot of things but recently my head's in a complete mess i don't know what's going on. it's like the mahjong game yesterday. i just kept thinking the game was.. clockwise. anticlockwise? clockwise? shrugs no diff.
wah life sucks when you sleep at 10pm and still not have enough sleep. life sucks when you sleep at 3am and still not have enough sleep. life sucks when you don't know what you're thinking.
life sucks when you have a senile grandma who's lying like sh!t about what the doctor is saying, while going to a bunch of different doctors to extort medicine out of them, almost everyday. life sucks when that senile grandma isn't saved and is showing signs of her end times. life sucks when you cant do anything about the STUPID situation. life sucks when that makes you all muddled up and exhausted. life sucks when in the middle of all this shit, you still try to make some sense and try to save some lives, some souls. life sucks when suspicion fills the air and so do excuses. life sucks. life really sucks. but somehow, someplace, somewhere, i manage to have a hope that life totally OWNS. that life rocks. that. i don't know, that i could do all those wonders i want to.
i wonder what will happen on that day. i really wonder.
stepping on your garbage