.____________________

THANK YOU MEL, JUNDA, XL, & DANIEL!

I LOVE YOU GUYS. thanks. i feel a lot better today. esp mel who talked with me even though her internet thing is screwy and everything and just listened to my cry and could understand me though i was half sobbing and my nose was blocked and my diction sucked. thanks. and thanks so much for listening. and esp xl who been replying my pointless msgs and caring and bothering about me even though he doesn't even actually know me, and helped me feel like at least there was one strange person who bothered enough about me however annoying i could be.

THANKYOU. SO MUCH. <3

stepping on your garbage 9:08 PM

i'm troubled. i don't know what's wrong with me. Miracle Service just ended. i usually feel better - a lot better, after church. after worship. i seriously don't know what's wrong.

i don't have the courage to face what i'm afraid of. there are so many things that are coming my way, and big, fat, trouble is one of them. what i'm feeling now.. there's just so many things i keep thinking about, so many things in my mind, so many things in my heart. i can't control it, and i can't keep anything out. i just can't clothe in words, the nudity i feel.

it's not nudity in the physical sense, obviously. but. i don't know. i thought i would never feel this again. but now i do. like no one cares, no one understands. i used to think my friends could understand me, but i don't feel it now. i haven't felt it for the past week. it's been dreadful.

today i told marvin: "i feel happy!" when i got home, i realised it was a fat lie.

nothing i have done, nothing i have tried to do, has made me feel better. i did feel better for a little little while today, while i was on the bike sabi rented. i was cycling so fast, a hump felt like a small rock on the road. if i were to brake hard i would have been thrown off. it felt good. it felt good to feel tired. because when i was tired and panting, i couldn't think.

i've been feeling this.. shit. for the week. i don't know why. it's not pms. i'm sure of that. i just.. i don't know. i just don't know anything. it makes me scared, it leaves me with nothing. i don't know anything anymore. i don't want anything anymore.

i have nothing. and no one knows me, i see. i thought i could count on my friends - now i'm not sure. it makes me so unsure of everything i've lived for.

i would write this on my diary but there's no space. i've come to the end of the book, the last page. it's the last day of the year tomorrow, and i've already taken up its space.

i wrote you a letter i would never give you, i remember things that never happened, i hate you but i don't. i wish i never met you. go away - disappear from my life. now.

we should never be too quick to judge. good things may turn out to be bad, and vice versa.

i wish i had something to fall back on, but i don't. like i said, i have nothing. i feel emptied out, of emotion, of expression. my mum said i look so dazed. i think i look dazed, fazed and everything else. i don't have the energy to do anything, just because i can't stop thinking.

i can't do it. i really don't know what's wrong. i haven't felt this bad in ages, and the few people i really want to talk to and be with, they don't seem to want to waste any more of their time on me.

but who cares. nothing matters anymore. freakin school is starting. and i'm walking straight for an off the cliff jump. i'm afraid i might flunk next year. i have a feeling 2007's gonna be bad. a bad start, a bad year.

i wish you were here.

stepping on your garbage 9:35 PM

hellos. I MISS TAIWAN PEOPLE. >< i didn't go for their gathering thing on sunday cos i had to be a good girl and stay with my parents. my bro and sis were both out so i was the only kid left to pei them so i had to be xiao shun.

anyway. I SHOULD HAVE GONE CRIES.

andandand. WAAAAAAAHHH. i miss them so much. today i saw serene and serena and anzie and kevy and jasmin and shihua! so now i dont miss those few so much. lol.

BUT I MISS EVERYBODY ELSE. sputters faints dies.

sigh. school is gonna start really really soon and if i dont see all of them one more time i think i'm gonna die.

i'm like LOVESICK or something.

sighsighsigh.

but anyway today was setup day! which was a waste of time, money and petrol. and SLEEP. i slept at like.. 3? and had to wake up at 7? and really surprisingly i woke up when my dad went to wake my sis up. who's next door. i thought that was impossible. i dont even wake up with my alarm clock. and he was just "talking" to her. as in. talking volume. i thought pigs dont wake up so easily. xD

haha oink.

nevermind.

merry belated Christmas everyone. and remember what it's all about. remember to remember Him. and cheers! celebrate His coming. celebrate His birth! celebrate Jesus! =D

stepping on your garbage 3:40 PM

VIVO IS HUGE. i'd get lost if i weren't following someone.

okay whatever SOME MEAN PERSON said i'm just lousy. ><

haha anyway i like vivo!!! it has a pretty pretty view of sentosa and that tall skinny thing that takes a round thingum up to see sea view! =D

i'm feeling high now cos i'm listening to jay chou. i just dled a LOT of his songs. and stuff. i feel happy.

anyway. TOMORROW'S CHRISTMAS. okay. it's Christmas in about 3 minutes but nevermind.

MERRY CHRISTMAS. remember what it's all about though. CHRIST.

O HOLY NIGHT. THE STARS ARE BRIGHTLY SHIIINING.

merry Christmas everybody, happy birthday Jesus.

SMILE.

stepping on your garbage 11:54 PM

ok i hope everyone's read what they were supposed to read.. i been thinking about taiwan the whole day i can't stop the memories from flowing in. as i chat online with the new friends i've made we reminisce about the times we've had and everything comes back crystal clear.

i miss the times on the 11th floor. so much.
watching people play pingpong, learning pingpong myself. junda patiently hitting the ball back and picking it up when i whacked it out again and again. playing ping pong for the first time, hitting it back and forth for more than 5 times the first time.
watching people play pool, winning my first pool game proper. marvin's fingernail indicating where i should aim to get a good shot. teaching the sec 2 girls how to rest the cue stick on their left hands.
lying on the pool table waiting for the laundry to be done, staying up till 4.30.
practicing che ling with zhen xiao with the yoyo flying about all over the place and getting cut all over the place by the yoyo's sharp edges.
playing badminton along the narrow corridor area just whacking the shuttle back and forth. finally learning how to hold the racket properly and how to use my wrist. kiat wee constantly adjusting the racket and showing me how to swing, explaining, also patiently.
(now i realise i'm a pretty slow learner)
watching the 2 mels do gym stuff on the mats, trying to do a cartwheel, watching renato do a cart wheel, watching marvin do a cartwheel. trying over and over again, watching melanie successfully do her frontwalk.
doing my laundry. being so afraid of using the boy's dryer which ye wei finally convinced me to do. pouring washing powder.
going up to the 11th floor from the 7th floor.
going up the stairs one floor to the 8th floor. walking through the 8th floor corridor and complaining about yinan's feet. knocking on 816 then hiding at the side. knocking repeatedly on 810 with no response. shawn sleeping ever so soundly in 812.
the guys coming down to 7th floor to practice for our karaoke competition. singing and singing and singing. xian jie's scream (which i still have in my mp3).

all the little things. the auntie who sweeps the floor and clears the rubbish, practicing calligraphy at the front desk. the vending machine outside the lobby. the first dinner we had in shida.
the canteen uncle who kept coming to ask us if the food was ok. who gave us extra guo ties in the morning cos he said 4 was too little.
lessons with fan lao shi. talking rubbish. her telling us her secrets. watching movies and cartoons and everything people dont usually do in lessons. marvin reading super fast.
the piano. where i remember emoing and fooling around. i played such sad songs. we both did. but it felt good to let it out with music. it felt good to feel so free to express.
the red cushions.

everything. i just cant forget.

the first time i went solo with the guys at eslite and 101. watching the guys pick the soft toys. running back to the bus and being late for the first time.
and i just kept going out with them after that cos they made me feel more at ease. somehow i think i was less conscious about myself. i liked that feeling.
and though people started to tease me i didn't care about what others thought.

those 3 days bi ye lu xing. amazing. the hotel with the rooftop. i remember the lovers room i got with the round bed and the mirrors on top. and the rooftop. so quiet, so peaceful. we could see the stars. i think i remember that the most. it felt so right to huddle with my friends in the cold. and though we were freezing we didn't want to leave the place cos it was quiet and peaceful. i think.. it might have been one of the happiest moments i had there. it was so stupid but it was good.
the amusement park. riding the mayan adventure 3 times and being scared of being late but went for the 3rd time anyway cos everyone else was going. looking for junda who didn't want to go for the rides. taking the wet ride which was.. wet.

the kiap kiap machine. wasted a lot of money on them but had a lot of fun.

those nights i spent talking to my girlfriends. talking about everything, anything. boys, girls, school, lifestories, troubles, EVERYTHING.

walking around the 2nd hotel on the 2nd night with the bunch of people i was the closest to minus one. but it felt good walking together and not alone.

it felt so good to see your friends, old and new, everyday. when you wake up, before you sleep, at meals, every single time you turn around, you see someone who cares so much for you. you see people who are always looking out for you to make sure you're alright, always there so you won't ever be lonely.

now i'm back home and there's absolutely no one in the house but me. my big big house. what's a big house for if it's not full up with people?

my parents are at separate dinners, sister's in hostel. brother's at work or on a date or something. and i'm here on a date with my computer. i've been on this date since i woke up this morning. because there's nothing else i can do. unpacking makes me cry as i look at the things i've bought. reminding me of the places i've been, the people i was with.

i didn't want to go for the immersion at first. now i don't regret going. i regret not wanting to go in the first place. i'm glad i went. i'm glad i met all those people there. i'm glad for everything that happened on the trip, the ups and downs, and i thank God so much, for the way He's worked things out for me. i thank God that i had that opportunity to go to taiwan. to go to the different places and do all those things.

i have to get used to the life back home again, i just hope that when school reopens, i can survive without the guys around. God help me be strong and face everything that comes my way!

i'm missing taiwan so badly right now, and we're having a meeting tomorrow. we all can't bear to leave each other so abruptly and though the meeting is pretty fast and soon after our arrival, i think we need to see each other again. with all the LOVE that spreads around so fast, it's so hard to let go.

but hey everyone, CHEERS. we rocked taiwan. =D

stepping on your garbage 8:26 PM

here are some pictures!

from the white hand (which is mine) clockwise: me, junda, marvin, kiatwee. we all bought rings and i think this is a cool picture cos it's cool and the 3 of them are 3 of the guys i was closest to on the trip. =D

and this one's ye wei and i camwhoring. i find it funny.

11th floor. where everything happens - sleep, laundry, gym, pool, pingpong, badminton.. i'm SO gonna miss the 11th floor. <3>

and this is the piano. with the Christmas tree behind. i love the piano. i go there whenever i'm emoing and i start to play things.. and it helps me feel better. yay. hurray for music. =D

and of course we cant forget the cutest person alive, KIATWEE! here's us acting cute with hongxiu taking the picture. the sleeve on the right is renato's. the place, at the computers in the lobby.

yeah that's about it for now i'm lazy to upload everything but i'll upload to multiply soon enough. i miss taiwan. =(

stepping on your garbage 5:37 PM

and i'm back.

i have this thing around me, a cloud. it's raining. i want to cry and let the tears flow, let the bad stuff come flowing out. but i'm afraid those memories would swim away with the tide. like the rushing wind i find myself in a place i've come to know as home but i was swept away.

the month away from singapore has.. taught me so many things. i've made so many new friends. i've learnt - about emotions, and physical things. i've learnt how to play ping pong (thanks to junda), pool (thanks to marvin), chinese yoyo, etc. i've learnt how to do chinese painting, chop carving, chinese ropes, etc. i've learnt how to swing a badminton racket properly (thanks to kiatwee). i've learnt how to use a washing machine and dryer. i've learnt so many things..

i've learnt things about friendship, trust, judgement, opinions, etc.

i've made so many friends, so many relationships. and definitely met new confidantes like melanie. and those who you like to stick with like the guys - junda, kiatwee, mingxuan, zhenxiao, marvin. and those you look to for comfort and assurance - ye wei, shawn, junda, kiatwee, anzie, JASMINE. everyone has made the trip so amazing, enjoyable, memorable, warm, and so full of LOVE.

the past two weeks have been so happy, i've done so many things with my friends. though they are no doubt, NEW friends, i've made friends. i've come to know people i can talk to, people i can trust, people who listen so well. people i can always count on to help me forget the sadness.

specifically, i want to thank everyone.

TO: my sexy mamas.

BIRD. i love you so much. thanks for just being yourself, crazy yet with a soft side. i've known you the longest from the people on the trip, and i'm glad i know you. you always bring out the best in me, and i learn from you. i admire you, respect you. thanks for being. THERE.

MELANIE. hello mel during the trip you stayed opposite me. i always went over to talk to you, you came over to talk to me. i'm SO glad i had you there to talk to, or i would have burst. thanks for trusting me, advising me, listening to my advice, and being so really huggable. you're so beautiful don't ever forget that. i'm really going to miss you.. i love you. and thanks. =)

LINGMIN. lingminlingminlingmin my gorgeous baby. thank you for bearing with me and though we have our differences we have our similarities as well. thanks for listening, thanks for talking to me on the phone that night. thanks for forgiving me time and again my shortcomings and i'm sorry if i ever hurt you and didn't apologise. thank you for being part of the trip, for being part of the wonderful times i had. i love you!

PINGFANG. my dear roommate. thanks for putting up with my mess. thanks for taking such good care of me PSL! haha. thanks for listening to my rants and cries that night and talking to me and telling me all you said. you really comforted me and helped me get rid of my paranoia and fears. thanks for being so adorable and loving me for who i am. i love you too!

SUNCHAO. sabinasunchaoo. i sat next to you on the plane flight there. (and ye wei) and you were scared to talk to the guy next to you so i tried to break the ice. you're so cute and lovable, so DEH (or however you spell it). and thought it was annoying it made you who you are and your blurness was HILARIOUS and always made me laugh. your laughter is so contagious though it doesn't stop and of course, i love you. thanks!

ANZIE. anzie my darling you always give me sound advice you're like a mummy. thanks for taking care of me, thanks so much for playing with me and sitting with me outisde the cafe, talking, listening, and climbing on tables. thank you for learning to be yourself, because that's the way people like you best, that's the way you were created. cheers.

ANDREA. andrea the sexy ladehh. you are so thin. xD haha i remember you from the time we formed the 8 people group. you're always so giggly and smiley and girl, i'm glad you learn to be strong. you are the shopping queen i tell you and no offense but you're so gonna be a tai tai! haha.. but i love you anyhow!

MELODY. melodeeeee. you are so musical. xD you play the piano so well you have to teach me someday. joy BURSTS out from you and you bring out the child in me, running wild and free. you're so carefree and lovely, so darling. i love you because you gave me a sort of life, you helped me realise what i had in me. you helped my let loose and go crazy because that's what you are - crazy. thanks so much for being part of the most fun times i've had in taiwan. MUACKZ.

SERENE. serene!! jia gei wo!! haha no but dear your voice is so nice if you ever become a singer (which you must and not a tai tai) you have to remember ME in this trip. haha. though you're the same batch as me i never knew you before this and this trip has led me to you and i'm happy for that. you're so cool and pretty and you whack things so well. pingpong and badminton, i envy you. hahah. rock on babe.

SERENA. serena! you're so crazy sometimes. and though i don't really know you that well, i know you're someone who likes to keep on task and i really admire you for that. during the trip, our class competitions and stuff like that, you've been so involved and if not for you i wouldn't like to think of the ending. thanks!

WENDA. hello hamtaro! you are so CUTE and you have such a sexy voice. i've heard so much about you before this trip from the redcrossers and you have done your duty as a first aider well on this trip. thanks for being so adorable and lively, thanks for that big big smile of yours, thanks for being so sporting and not killing us for saying you look like hamtaro and stuff. you rock!!

KEVYNA. kevy you are so HOT. haha you sing so damn well and i 不得不爱 you. everyone loves you so much! you're so crazy and yet so focused. the karaoke competition would have been disastrous without the musical you so thank you for being a great leader. your hyperness makes me laugh so hard i train abs so thanks for brightening up the trip!

GERI. geri so man. hahaha. you sit next to me in class and you're so cool and full of attitude. sometimes you get crazy and do the bimbo cheer thing and it makes me laugh my head off.. you have nice shoes and thanks for letting me take pictures of them. xD you ROCK and i suggest you not spend so much on manga? hahaha i love you anyway. thanks for everything.

NAT KUAN. nat! i don't really know you so well, but i know you from prayer. keep shining for Christ and i know you'll go far! thanks for bringing ichigo to prayer. continue to grow in your walk with Him okay! and girl, please, keep staying out of topic. it's side splitting. =D

CHERIE NG. chiobu hotness.. haha. you're so cool and i love your dress sense. i think you're so pretty and nice! i don't really know you either but i know you're friendly and approachable and you're really spunky teen material =P thanks for filling up what would have been a void without you... rock on!

CHERIE FOO. my little silent killer. please get contacts. your eyes are gorgeous and behind those spectacle frames is a beauty. reminds me of princess diaries whenever i see you. haha.. anyway i'm glad for the step you took on the trip. grow in Christ and He will make your paths straight! stay happy and pretty. =)

JIE MIN. jasmin! thanks for sharing the same sentiments as me that kiatwee is so cute. haha i only talked to you in the last week of the trip and indeed you're a crazy girl, so full of life and spunk. thanks for comforting me on the last day of the trip when i was scared.. you're a pretty cool girl and keep singing cos your voice is so so nice. =D

AMANDA. crazy girl. i think that's the best description for you? haha. i only talked to you in the last week too, but before that i noticed you cos you're so tall. haha. you have a killer smile and those hyper moments i've seen from you have left me clutching my stomach laughing. your clothes are so nice! and thanks also for, like jasmine, comforting me when i was scared and sad yesterday. thank you for the smiles and i'm so glad i met you. =)

SHI HUA. hello shi hua you're such a nice girl and there's this aura of coolness about you. haha.. i think you make everyone around you smile and i would be scared of what the trip would have been like if you hadn't been there. thanks for the good times i remember you by and thanks for being so approachable and friendly. live it up!

KRYSTAL. pretty little girl who's in love with a starfish. xD i wonder why. ahhahaa. oh well krystal you are my neighbour! and a nice funny neighbour too. thanks for letting me in to my room through your balcony so many times and also thanks for letting me into your room from my balcony. haha.. yay you keep watching spongebob alright! there's a cute little starfish named patrick there too. =P

HUILING. milo girl! you even have a milo t shirt. haha huiling you have pretty eyes and you're so cute! at first i thought you were really really quiet and everything but you proved me wrong as you started to open up. also my neighbour, thanks for the afore mentioned and thanks for putting up with me bugging you to talk more. haha.. thumbs up dear.

AE RA. my korean girl! i have a korean fan. ahhaa. you're so funny and cute. and your clothes are SUPER cool. so funky and what you call that i dont know what. but they're so cool and stuff. you will be remembered for writing kim jung hoon's name on the blackboard for me haha.. rock on and stay as cool as you are! teach me korean some day! =D

TO: my HUNKS.

KIAT WEE. oooh so cuute. look it's stitch! haha. kiatwee! you have left a great impression on me and i thank you so much for letting me stick to you. sorry if i've been annoying though. but thanks for talking to me that night i really needed that and thanks for being so adorable and lovable however short your replies may be. your presence at prayer has been greatly appreciated along with the music you play! i remember one of the first times i talked to you was at the piano in the lobby and somehow i felt something in your eyes, something i could understand, and i thank you for letting me open up to you. thanks for everything. thanks for teaching me to swing the badminton racket right thought now i got muscle aches and thanks for always watching out for me when we're out. thanks for your jacket when i was cold, thanks for those understanding eyes when i was sad. thanks for acting cute with me and making me laugh all the time and i'm really going to miss being around you.. i wanted to hug you goodbye at the airport but you left early and i was sad but please please don't lose contact yeah?

JUNDA. junda my mama. haha. thank you for always being there to listen to me and watch me cry and thank you for always comforting me and stuff. you're so nice to talk to and i like the way you do everything. thanks for being so mature and gentlemanly however blur and stoney you may be. you've been one of those i like sticking to on the trip and thank you for taking care of me! thanks for teaching me to play ping pong which i still can't play very well but i'll practice. thank you for being so sporting and doing the bimbo cheer thing! and oh you're such a good listener i think you should become a counsellor of sorts. xD i'm very glad i met you on the trip because you're a new friend and i feel as if i won't lose touch with you. the things we've talked about on the trip have helped me to grow so much more and i'm really so happy to have met you. thanks.

MARVIN. marvin=) thanks for keeping my secret which ended up with everyone talking about it in the end. but you really rock and behind that mask i see someone else. you're so gentle and caring and though you spout a lot of nonsense in class, you make a lot of sense too. thanks for teaching me to play pool better and i will still imagine your fingernail there whenever i need to slice. thanks for taking good care of me and you are an amazing guy. though you're rich and everything you don't exactly flaunt it and i think that's cool. i wouldn't be your best friend when you're rich though, i'd rather be your friend now. thanks for being part of the trip and thanks for everytime i whacked you. thank you that your anger was mostly acted because i wouldn't know what to do otherwise. thanks for making lessons so much less boring and thank you for talking to me! i'm gonna miss you.

ZHENXIAO. my korkor. thank you so much for being so patient with me and though i know i take you for granted so many times, i really appreciate everything you've done for me. thank you for teaching me to che ling, thanks for taking such good care of me, always watching out for me, taking note of my well being, for always allowing me to bully you and everything else. thanks for never leaving me alone. thanks so much for sitting the merry go round with me that day, thanks for staying with me. thank you for all the fun times i had with you and though you've been gross and stuff, thanks for letting me be gross with you! i will miss having you around so much and i hope things will remain the same or better when we meet again in JC. and thanks for the shit monument by the way. =D

MINGXUAN. 猫王! your constant meowing has been amusing. thanks for letting me stick to you and your friends, i'm sorry if i've been an intrusion. thank you for the huge toilet roll that day when i really needed it even though you needed to shit. thank you for your care and concern and your falsettos are pretty good! i would be less scared of you if you cut down on your bouts of violent tendencies though. but thank you for always leading us back home when we're out and thanks for all the humourous comments and statements you make. thank you for always making me laugh at your antics and though i never really talked to you, thanks for always listening. you rock alright! and keep being as nice to your sisters as you are. there will come a day when everything you've down for them will be greatly appreciated. thank you for the time spent in taiwan. peace!

MINGQUAN. quan jie! i'll miss you so much. you're so funny and everything. and okay although i don't really know you well, i really want to thank you so much for your bravery during the karaoke competition thing. i'm glad you had the guts to do what you did and thank you for all the effort you put in. you sing quite well by the way, once you get the right key. =P keep up your acting and your enthusiasm and you'll go a long long way. thanks for letting me copy your script during the test and thank you for being so accepting of me and my ways. =P thanks for the memories you've given me in taiwan!

JINKAI. jinkai is the guy with the nice eyes and hands and eavenly voice. =) thanks for being so nice since i first talked to you in class and though i keep irritating you and bothering you i thank you for not screaming at me. but sorry if i ever got on your nerves too much it's just the way i am. thanks for letting me ogle at your paintings and art work you're really good at it. keep it up and if you ever become a famous artist or anything REMEMBER ME haha. no joking you don't have to. i couldn't believe you were sec 4 when you first told me but that's good cos you look young. but thank you for all your efforts in the competitions we had and everything. =)

XIANJIE. the tracker! hi i think you think i'm irritating too? haha oh well thanks for being in my class and for being so sportingand doing everything we tell you to do. you've added a lot of humour to lessons even by just sleeping. and thanks for the laughs and smiles, thanks for your hilarious jokes which you manage to keep a straight face at. and your face! thank you for your face which is so nice to laugh at because its expression never changes. even when you scream! yes thank you for screaming so well. it's the best scream ever. sorry if i ever bullied you! but thank you for everything you've done that made up for so much of the laughter during the trip. rock on!

YE WEI. ye wei! hahaha.. thank you so much for everything you've done on the trip. starting with being the first guy on the trip that i talked to in the plane! thank you for your friendliness and openness, thank you for always being there to cheer me up when i needed cheering. thanks for being so high and crazy with me when i needed someone to be high and crazy with me. you're so crazy but yet there's that deep side to you that is reflected in the songs you listen to, even in your emo playlist. xD thank you for all the hugs and smiles you've given me. though being close in proximity to you tires me out because of your energy, thanks for teaching me to be naughty and going into the guys' rooms past bedcheck. you should thank me for helping you with your class collage? haha kidding i was bored. but thanks for always being available and always believing in me. i love ya dude!

SHAWN AKA TAT CHERN. my second teddy bear. it appears my teddy bears are always really tall.. haha. thank you so much for talking to me over msn those times i felt so sad. thanks for the hugs you've given me and thank you for the smiles you've put on my face. thanks for always making me feel loved, and though i never really stuck to you, thank you for being so cute and helpful. and i would never go back on what i've said, that this shawn lee is the best shawn lee ever, better than the shawn lee in 小孩不笨. the BLING you wore before we left was so blinding though, but it looked cool on you just cos you're shawn. and what you wrote on my t shirt? i felt so touched by it! haha. you rock and you always will. i love you too!

YI NAN. whoaa cool hairr. haha. yi nan your hair never fails to amaze me. its ups and downs and various shapes and sizes. hahaha anyway thanks for being so nice to me and taking such good care of me. even when you were down i couldn't cheer you up but thank you for accepting me for the way i am. thanks for the laughter and tears and everything you've given me. thanks for letting me watch you play your chinese game thing and never ever shrugging me off. thank you for letting me know you even slowly, and thanks for being so open about religion and always respecting our feelings and sentiments. and i'll always remember you as the one and only KNIGHT. God bless you too. =)

HONGXIU. chiobu! you're so cute and adorable and nice! and though at first you were really shy and all that, thanks for finally opening up and being so friendly and approachable. you're a really funny guy and thank you for being so sporting and for all your efforts for our karaoke competition, memorising the lines and everything. you have nice teeth and you're damn chio! haha. 重金属 will never be forgotten and i thank you for bringing so much laughter and smiles into the trip. thank you for never being irritated by me and for always bring a smile to my face each time i see you. you're so adorable and please? don't listen to so much metal - your ears will burst one day - pop is waaay better it sounds nicer, at least it sounds like music! but anyway, do keep in touch. smile!

and the time we've spent with each other, for 29 days, 24 hours a day, will be remembered for years to come, as a memory, a dream that we lived together.

&thankYOU, all of you, for being there, for being part of OCAC.

师大华裔 GO GO GO, O-C-A-C 站站站!!

stepping on your garbage 11:47 PM

NIHAO!

last night. I CRIED. now my eyes damn small. hahaha.

I THANK GOD FOR FRIENDS.
friends who care
friends who understand
friends who can help you
friends who listen
FRIENDS. REAL FRIENDS.

i found a new friend and FRIEND if you're reading! THANKS SO MUCH. sooo soooo much.

i feel so LOVED. =D anyway. i feel so blessed to have met you during this trip. unexpectedly.. i thought the friends i made here would just be.. fun friends.

BUT I MET YOU!!! yay. thanks. i dont know how to.. say it. but. it all feels so planned and worked out by God. this whole thing. because of last night i didn't get caught like some of the others which i would have been if not for you.

soo... the song..

I thank You Lord, for the trials that come my way...

it's so true. that with trials. God really. picks you up everytime you fall. and when you fall. you go higher by so much later on. YAY. time to go.

stepping on your garbage 9:25 AM

I'M BLOGGING AGAIN.

i have been.. HALF HAPPY HALF SAD!

been happy the first half of the week. then since yesterday been sad.

ohwell i wont say why. nevermind.

LIFE KINDA SUCKS NOW COS I HAVE NOTHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO HERE. not anymore. not since the second half of yesterday.

damn and i'm not gonna sleep tonight. hope i have people to talk to...

i hope someone can stay up with me all night! don't have to know how to save a life.

i want someone to rely on
someone i can HUG all i want.
someone's that's not a toy.
someone that gives me hugs too.
someone who's the one i want to rely on.

I WANT MY DADDY. (no i'm joking. ok fine i do want my daddy but i want someone else too)

sigh anyway. we're going for bi ye lu xing tomorrow! 3 days 2 nights! and i hope it's gonna be fun. i hope i can spend QUALITY time with my new friends. i hope i'll be happy. like how i was in the start of the week.

ok byebye i'm gonna SURF.

stepping on your garbage 8:27 PM